Do these guys look like they should be on the cover of Bridal magazine or what? My unemployed friend Sundeep and I decided we would start celebrating Keith and Laura's wedding a little early. Why? Because we can!
Here we are on a beautiful Thursday in Bryant Park, NYC. We heard there was a super model show put on by Mercedes Benz. So we thought that would be a good place to go and get some drinks and stare at super models from afar. Ummm...we didn't see one super model. We didn't even see a regular model. Come to think of it...we didn't see a damn thing. Don't they know Sundeep put the "super" in super model, before Sundeep it was just model. As you can see it was awesome out. The big white tents in the background is where the show was going on...so they say. After some significant overselling and promises of super models buying us drinks we convinced our other unemployed friend Scott to join us. Well one thing leads to another and our little brunch that started at 11:00am turned into a rather sizable get together at Carmine's on the upper west side. They tell me I enjoyed the food. Only two hours after I went to bed I was rudely awaken as it was time to meet the groom on a golf course in Long Island. Ugh...
At least I "look" happy. Somehow we make it through golf and then make our way via ferry to Shelter Island. One of Laura's best friends, Steph's parents volunteered to host the rehearsal dinner at their summer home on Shelter Island. This was not only a fantastic idea but also one of the most beautiful places you can imagine to have a dinner. Lets just say that Billy Joel has a house two lots away, and Jimmy Buffet is a neighbor. Here we are all eating on the deck. It was a spectacular night with a full moon lighting up the water. I've got to say it was more beautiful than Santa Barbara. This pool table is from 1928 and was in Billy Joel's house. Billy didn't want it so Mr. Alex acquired it. Mr. Alex deny's it was in the house when Billy moved in. However, all the guys thought you could still smell Christy Brinkly's perfume on it. The guys before the wedding. The guys after the wedding. The reception was at the Rams Head Inn which was also the Inn we were all staying at. This was a great idea. Basically we had every room in the place for the whole weekend. It was like being on vacation with all your friends. We even took out their sail boat with yours truly as captain. I just told everyone I was certified. I didn't tell them I've never been out without an instructor. The Decker family and Keith's best man (his brother Scott) delivering a funny and touching toast. Great job Scott! Ok, believe it or not, there was not one single girl at the entire wedding. Not a one. We did have about 12 single guys. Lets just say that towards the end of the night girls where afraid to leave the arm of their husbands or boyfriends. Needing to get a picture with someone I strolled up to the singer in the band while in mid song for a picture. She pulled off the singing smile rather well. After the reception we attended the obligatory post party at another inn a few miles away. Like we needed it. After six years of dating, Keith Decker wearing a wedding ring...finally!!
Remind me to ask him how long the burning lasts.  And last but not least our weekend MVP, Johnny.
So there we are at a bar after the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. We make sure everyone there has designated drivers and a ride back to the inn. John was assigned to leave with the last group. On their way out the door they realize they forgot someone and go back into the bar. John decides to keep walking. He further decides that he is going to walk back to our inn not realizing it's about 8 miles away (when walking in the correct direction). So after about an hour of walking John realizes nothing is familar to him. He decides to walk up to a huge mansion and knock on the door to ask them to call him a cab. After knocking on the door for few minutes with no answer John tries the nob and finds it unlocked. So he does what any normal person would do right? Correct, he proceeds to enter the home and look for a phone. Unfortunately the phone was not connected. So he does what any normal person would do right? Correct, he sits down on the couch and turns on the TV thinking they would hear him and come down to welcome him with open arms and not a Glock 9mm. Ok, so after a while John begins to explore the house to find that there is nobody in any of the 15 rooms. So he does what any normal person would do right? Correct, he finds himself a bedroom, climbs into bed and goes to sleep. John wakes up in the morning refreshed, makes the bed, walks out of the house, and hitch hikes home. At least he had the sense not to make himself breakfast.
Ladies and Gentlemen our MVP, Johnny!!!!
Hey, it's not his fault, he has no hypothalamus. |
